Dealing with Holidays When Single
by Victoria Thornton This is the season when every year you'll see commercials with lots of happy people with smiling faces advertising the latest clothes you can get at your local mall; using the newest gadgets you can get at local shopping center. Or you'll see actors gathered together around a dinner table pretending to be a perfect family to make you feel like your life is missing something. And to really play with your heartstrings -- those who are single desiring to be married and the already married --several times a day flashing across your tv screen will be the mother of all commercials. It's the commercial of the handsome guy presenting a beautiful ring to the excited girl.
If you are in the process of believing for your mate that commercial alone can upset your mood. I know because I've been there and if you were like me you may be tempted to think how horrible your life is because another year has come and gone and you are still without your mate. You may be tempted to think how you are missing out on yet another Christmas and New Year without your mate having to go through it alone!
(Later on I'll tell you what the Lord said when I approached him in this state. Hopefully it will help you.)
If you're tempted to feel discouraged about your situation after watching those commercials flash across your tv screen day-in and day-out (like I did), then the marketing folks behind those advertisements have done their job. Their job is to make you feel so inadequate about your life that you will go out and buy those products with the hopes of becoming as happy as the people in their commercials. They want you to link the happy, smiling faces you see in their advertisements with their products so you can spend all your money hoping to feel better.
But it's all a lie.
Or here's another scenario you might encounter.
You may have successfully maneuvered around the fiery darts of tv commercials, only to be faced with another situation that comes up around this time of the year. The situation I'm referring to is dealing with family members when you are single. Maneuvering around the one family member who always wants to know if you are seeing someone special and sometimes even blatantly asking you 'why aren't you married yet' as if something is wrong with you.
To avoid looking like a sad sap, (because you’re uncomfortable telling them that you are believing God to send your mate), you quickly answer 'no one serious at the moment' or divert the question altogether making your way to the nearest exit. And if you've ever been subjected to these kinds of scenarios, it does not make for a happy Christmas. This time of season should not be a time of dread because you are single. It should not be a season when you can't watch tv commercials or try to avoid family members because you’re unmarried at the moment. This is not what this season is all about.
The real meaning of this season, the true meaning of Christmas is not about gadgets and clothes and annoying family members. It's not about whether you are married or single or the giving or receiving of gifts. *It's about THE gift - JESUS CHRIST. *It's about having God with us. (Mat 1:23) *And having peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Rom 5:1)
It's the time of the season to commemorate and celebrate the gift God sacrificially gave in order to have a family of sons and daughters born of His Spirit. It's about giving thanks for not only what Jesus did by dying on the Cross but also about having the opportunity to walk in a close relationship with our Heavenly Father. Ultimately it's about knowing Him and being loved by Him.
In fact, do you know the relationship and closeness you develop with God while on earth has eternal rewards? An excerpt taken from a teaching entitled, 'Seeing through the eyes of God' by Peter Tan recounts a visit a church member had while visiting heaven. A church member made a visit to heaven and on arriving at the great banquet hall, this Christian saw many tables and chairs. He noticed that those chairs that were closest to the throne of God were the most beautiful and sparkling beyond description; whereas, those furthest from the throne were made of hard wood. The angel told him that the saints who were closest to God while on earth were given those special beautiful seats, according to the state of their spiritual life and intimacy with God when they died. Those who were not that close to God and had led ordinary lives on earth were seated in ordinary seats.
So by focusing on what is important about this time of year, by celebrating the real meaning of Christmas, you’ll also gain heavenly rewards. In addition to celebrating why JESUS CHRIST came, another reason to celebrate the true gift of Christmas is to remember what He's done. Jesus not only came to restore our relationship with the Father but He also gave us victory in Christ.
Here is a small list of what He accomplished for us.
1. We are now seated together with Christ in the heavenly places. (Eph. 2:6) 2. We have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. (Eph. 1:3) 3. We are heirs and joint heirs together with Christ. (Rom. 8: 17) 4. All that Jesus has is ours. (Eph. 1:22) 5. We shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ. (Rom 5:17) 6. And as he is, so are we in this world. (1Jn 4:17)
As you can see, the reason for the season is not what the world wants us to think Christmas is about. It's not about buying things. It's not even about us. It is about Him and what He's done for us. Therefore as you approach the upcoming holiday season don't allow the world's commercialization of Christmas to make you feel inadequate. Don't allow those annoying family members to make this season about your marital status. But make it about what Christ did; why He came; and what He did for us.
And last, I mentioned earlier the time when I allowed tv commercials to get me depressed about the state of my life. I ran to the Father and He communicated two things.
#1) When I thought I should be enjoying the parties and festivities of the season, God said “I wasn't missing anything.”
And #2) Because I had imagined that my mate’s life was perfect and he was having the time of his life without me, God showed me otherwise. He gave me a short vision of what my mate was doing apart from me. In the vision, I saw him in the midst of family and friends. I saw people all around. But God showed me in the midst of all those people, this person was terribly lonely without me. God revealed to me that only He can satisfy the longing soul and He called us to be each other's answer.
So take comfort in knowing that wherever your mate is this holiday season that full satisfaction of their soul cannot take place until you are at their side. Therefore, as you celebrate this time of the year, put your attention on the true meaning of Christmas by focusing on the Father and what He has done, then afterwards pray for your mate that God would cause satisfaction to come into his or her life by bringing you together.†
